Caution: Semi-Serious Post
It doesn't happen very often here, but I'm about to delve into a more serious topic I've been thinking about lately. Hopefully this will satisfy the needs of all the distinguished scholars who frequent this blog, but are too afraid of ruining their reputation to comment on such hootanany that is normally discussed here.
Last weekend, I saw the move
Crash. The movie deals with race relations in Southern California, focusing around several interweaving characters, all a different racial or ethnic background.
So we're all familiar on the various racial stereotypes out there, I'll summarize the ones discussed in the movie, just so we're all on the same page. (Note: the following broad generalizations are NOT the views of Philthy Laundry...so don't even think about bringin' it down on me.)
-Black people are dangerous criminals, and they're lazy. The reason for this is that they've never been given a fair shake since they were discriminated against, and thus must resort to violence to even the score.
-Asians are bad drivers, and are really good at running dry cleaners and nail salons.
-No matter where your ancestors are from, if you're of Latin decent, you're Mexican (Unless you are in Southern Florida, and then you're Cuban).
-White people are racist against everyone and don't trust anyone of other races. The sometimes fortunate position they've been given has come from hard work and wise investing, and the reason blacks and "mexicans" are poor is because they spend all their money on drugs and pimpin' their rides instead of investing in an IRA or Mutual fund.
-If you have olive skin, and are from Southeast of Europe, West of China, and you're not black, you're Arab. And if you happen to also be Muslim, you're a terrorist. This is particularly frightening sense they know the best ways around the city from years of driving cabs.
Now a little over 7 years ago, I was an ignorant white boy from a farm in Central Illinois. I thought all Asian-Americans lived in Chinatown in San Francisco and New York City, had no clue that "indian" and "native american" did not describe the same people, and I had never met or talked to a black person in real life. The closest I ever came was when I was trying to "Be Like Mike" playing basketball with my friends. Experiencing a Big Ten campus which is a Mecca of diversity in the midst of cornfields, opened my eyes to alot of culture that I had never been exposed to. I started to think about my perceptions of other cultures and battled with ingrained stereotypes and prejudices from the community in which I grew up. It's something I don't think about much anymore, to which I'm grateful.
But the real question here is what is the current status of racial relations in the United States? We've come a long way in the last 50 years as far as the white-black discrimination is concerned, though there are still several areas of the rural Southern US that are segregated (not law mandated, but it's "understood") How does the Latinos becoming the largest minority group affect things? Are Arabs the new scapegoats? Are black people finally off the hook?
I'm not sure what I think about all this, I guess that's why I'm throwing it out there. But what I've come to realize is that though racial stereotypes shouldn't be used to pre-judge someone, that doesn't mean that they aren't sometimes, though not universally, true. I do think that race relations are a bigger issue than most lead to believe. Especially when it comes to topics such as affirmative action. There are several times that it might be beneficial for a boss to promote or hire a black man over a more qualified white man...is that right or wrong?
Let me hear your feelings. The movie
Crash got some great reviews, and I think it provides an entertaining and dramatic look at race relations in the US. If you can spare the $8.50, I'd recommend it.
Heebie Jeebies
I was kind of creeped out today. At Applebee's for dinner, there was this older guy sitting with a bunch of guys in their mid 20s. This guy was wearing bright yellow running shorts, and I noticed that his legs were very tan, and were shaved. I'm really freaked out by men that shave their legs. The only time I think this is acceptable is if you are an olympic swimmer. If you are a competitive swimmer, but not in the olympics, it's still wrong, don't do it, at least not if you're around me.
Also, my waiter tonight creeped me out. Nice kid, good service, but he was really short. I'm usually ok with short people, but this guy was remarkably short, we're talkin 5'1'' tops. But what really gets me is that I LOVE midgets! I mean really love them. Everytime I see one on TV, or in real life for that matter, I giggle like a four year old. So there's something about a man that's the 4'9''-5'3'' range that really freaks me out.
Thus concludes the "Things that freaked me out today" post.
On a side note, in an effort to be more and more like Jeremiah Cox, I have changed my blog template. I'm also looking to acquire a hot wife, guitarring skills, and a leather wrist cuff. Let me know what you think.
Hot fun in the Summertime
Jeremiah's recent post about butt sweat (aka SWASS) got me thinking. I love warm weather for multiple reasons...I can lay out in the sun and get some good face time, I can wear a tank top and have it be socially acceptable, flip flops...lots of reasons.
But I HATE sweating. I'm what's categorized as a "heavy sweater" (more of a wool than a cashmere) When it gets hot out, I sweat from every pore, and at times can be annoying.
But two products have revolutionized summer for me...I discovered both while I was in college. The first is
Certain Dri. This is prescription strength anti-perspirant that is applied at bedtime. It completely eliminates underarm sweat, making your pits dry and embarrassment factor to a minimum. This works like no other product I've ever had...if you suffer from pit sweat, i recommend checking out your local Walgreens for this miracle product.
The second product, every guy is familiar with, and everyone knows the best way to use it to combat SWASS and other "south of the border" moistness. That's right,
Gold Bond Medicated Powder. This has become a staple of my day from May to October. The best way I've heard it described is "It's like tiny angels blowing on your balls." I apologize for the mental images that are now in all of your heads, but when you think about it, it's a good description.
Here's what others are saying about Gold Bond:
"All the guys in my fraternity use Triple Action Gold Bond Medicated Powder- it's a daily experience! We even fight over the green bottles when we run low. I used to use J&J Baby Powder, but it doesn't even compare to Gold Bond. Gold Bond gives you that tingling sensation...it cools...it keeps you dry all day. I love my Gold Bond, man! Send us some T-shirts!" -Peter Dellacrosse, University of MarylandSo these two products get Philthy's Seal of Approval. Enjoy your time in the summer sun!
Konichiwa!
Maybe it's just me
A lot of times I feel like I'm the only person that feels a certain way about things, especially things that make me feel uncomfortable or awkward. There is a high probability that it is just me, but there's a chance that several people feel a certain way about something, but no one ever brings it up, so we are all in this unknowing state where we feel we are the only one that feels a certain way about a certain something.
So what made me ponder such a thought, you ask? Since you asked nicely, I'll tell you.
I went to a movie alone today, since I'm traveling out in CA, and I don't know anyone, I thought it'd be a great way to kill a couple hours. This is the first time I've ever been to a movie by myself, and so that was a little awkward. I quickly got over that, however, and enjoyed 2 hours and 8 minutes of a movie. But after that 128th minute, that's when the awkwardness kicked in.
The moment a movie is over, everyone just gets up and leaves. For most people it's instantaneous...screen fades to black, first word of the credits start rolling, and BOOM, everyone's up. It's a little overwhelming. Maybe I feel strange because I was engrossed in this movie and then when it ends, I realize there are so many people around me. Or maybe I feel we should all sit around and talk about it...after all we all just experienced the same 128 minutes, let's take another 45 seconds to discuss. Maybe it's that I feel sorry for the movie theater. I mean, it invites us to come watch a lot of different movies at varying times so it's convenient for us. Provides us with snacks and a comfortable seat, and a great dark quiet room with a big screen to watch the movie. Then, as soon as we've gotten what we want, we abandon the theater, and just go about our lives like the last 2 hours didn't happen. It's a lot like that kid from grade school that never really had any friends, but his parents always bought him the new video game systems and games...so everyone would go over to his house and play them. He'd be happy that he had so many friends, and then next week, no one shows up at his birthday party.
So here's the bottom line (TM by Jeremiah at
My Turn):
Does anyone else find a problem that everyone immediately gets up and bolts for the door at the end of a movie? Tell me I'm not alone people, there's only so much I can take.
Ruminations on Advertisements
Today I saw a GAP commercial for their new summer line. The cornerstone of the summer line for GAP: white jeans. I immediately got freaked out. What if white jeans become popular again, and what if I buy a pair? Will I cut my hair into a mullet and shave lightning bolts into my temples like I did the last time white jeans were popular? On days when I'm not wearing white jeans, will I wear spandex, or Umbros, or (gasp) Hammer Pants? What about shirts? Hypercolor? Frankie Says Relax?
Will I buy snap bracelets and Swatch Watches to accessorize? Will my sneakers light up or pump up?
I really don't want to have to find my NKOTB and Vanilla Ice CDs (luckily Milli Vanilli is still in the rotation)
Speaking of advertisements...I also saw an ad for "That's What I Call Music 18" That's right, they're on number 18! I could have sworn that 2 years ago they were on 5, how did we jump to 18? Well, I figured no one would have the answer to that, so I did some investigative work. According to
www.nowthatsmusic.com the first, NTWICM album debuted in October of 1998 feturing such classic hits as "Mmm Bop" by Hanson, "Zoot Suit Riot" by Cherry Poppin' Daddies, and of course "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. Then about every 6 months a new NTWICM album would come out with songs by hitmakers including, Shakira, Sisqo, BBMac, Shaggy, and solo debuts by Jennifer Love Hewitt and JC Chasez. Lately we've been on a 4 month cycle of NTWICM albums...which means that eventually it's just going to be called "Now that's what I call September" I don't know about you, but That's What I Call CRAP!
On the Road in Lisbon, OH
So you know in that Jack Keroac book "On the Road" when Sal travels around the country eating apple pie and ice cream? Well, this trip was nothing like that...but if one were to do such an ala mode tour, Lisbon, OH and the surrounding area would be an great stop. After my Sandusky experience, I must say, I wasn't all that thrilled about a trip back to Ohio. But life has it's way of surprising you, and I actually enjoyed myself.
I hopped on a plane on a beautiful Chicago Sunday, only to be thrust into a snowstorm 45 minutes later when I landed in Akron. It was a lot like finding a used bandaid in your soup at a greasy diner...you know you should have expected it, but you're still pissed. I jumped in the
worst rental car in history and drove through the hills and curves of the backroads of Ohio til I reached my destination.
Day One, I was with a sales rep and we were lining up our appointments for the morning. We had a ford dealership, a carpet store, oh, and Big Dick's Rod Shop.
Obviously I was really excited to go to Big Dick's. When I got there, I was relieved, but a little disappointed that it was just a Hot Rod repair shop. But I had a great time talking to this middle aged marketing genious. In addition to hot rod repair, they actually make a good profit off of their T-shirt sales. Most had some sort of phallic reference to car parts that I didn't understand (since I know nothing about cars.) But my favorite was "Even nice girls like Big Dick's" Touching. Thank God I had enough sense to realize Mother's Day is just around the corner, so I picked one up.
The other interesting thing that happened was mid week, when I was sitting in one of the manager's offices having a little meeting about the week's progression, and then I here him say "Oh hi Jane, come on in." Then, I thought I was in a movie...this 6' 3'' lady walks in and I looked up at her real slow, you know starting at her feet as the camera pans up her body to her face. Jane was wearing this GIANT high heels, purple stockings, a yellow skirt, some white shirt with a leopard print, transparent shirt over it. She had long, bright red hair, and a chisled jaw line. Her voice was deep, her hands could crack walnuts.
She looked like an ugly Patrick Swayze in drag.
I later found out that Jane, used to be John. About 6 months ago he decided he was a she and started to undergo treatment...apparently it's a long process. John used to be married, has kids, and now is dating a woman that works at the paper (so he may also be a lesbian, we're not sure.) He's currently taking drugs to make his breasts grow and to stop growing facial hair, and he's going through the "emotional changes." Soon she'll have enough money to get his bits and kibble changed into something a little more feminine...and then (s)he'll finally be the woman he always dreamed he could be!
I think that was most of the excitement in Northeast Ohio.
Next stop is Northern California which should prove to be an adventure. I may even take a trip to San Francisco over the weekend...imagine all the freaks I'll encouter!
