NEW DELHI -- Village elders ordered a Muslim man in eastern India to leave his wife after he accidentally divorced her in his sleep, a news report said Tuesday.
Aftab Ansari uttered the Urdu word for divorce, "talaq," three times in his sleep, prompting his worried wife to discuss the matter with her friends, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.
Under Islamic law, a husband need only say "I divorce you" three times to secure a permanent end to his marriage.
Muslim leaders in the couple's village in West Bengal state found out and decreed that Ansari's unconscious utterances constituted a divorce, PTI reported.
But 30-year-old Ansari said he had no intention of leaving his wife of 11 years.
"I have not given talaq. When I uttered talaq three times I had taken medicines to help me sleep," he was quoted as saying in the report.
The religious leaders said that before remarrying, the couple would have to be apart for at least 100 days and that the wife, Sohela, would also have to spend a night with another man and then be divorced by him.
PTI reported that the couple has been ostracized because of their refusal to abide by the decision of the village leaders.
By Associated Press Published March 28, 2006, 3:06 PM CST
I know, you're shocked. I've made two horrible mistakes this evening.
First, I have sales training for the next three days with a few coworkers, my boss, and several strangers. In order to prepare for this event, I ate a gianormous bowl of chili for dinner. The perfect follow-up to a long weekend of constant eating and drinking while visiting friends in Seattle. My bowels will be punishing me tomorrow.
Secondly, and far more worse than the first, I watched Sharon Stone on David Letterman tonight. (I know, I'm a glutton for punishment) Either she was drunk on the show, or I was drunk watching it, but she made absolutely no sense...just saying words with no logic or resolution. Several times (I counted 4) Dave remarked, "Not where I was going, but ok" or something to that effect. She was on the show to promote the new movie "Basic Instinct 2" where she plays a sexually charged, crazy woman. It must have been a big stretch as an actor.
I don't know which hurts worse right now, my stomach or my brain.
It's like the music lover's Christmas, and today I found where my parents were stashing the presents. The 2006 Lollapalooza lineup was announced today, and I couldn't be happier if Kelly Clarkson herself was on the list (well, ok that would make me a little happier.) I attended last year's 2 day festival, and my face nearly melted. Partially from the heat, but also from the intensely great music. I remember thinking to myself "Lollapalooza can't possibly get any better next year." Little did I know that it could get better. This year's fest will be 3 days instead of 2, and will feature over 130 bands, including: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Matisyahu, Wilco, The Smoking Popes, The Shins, Kanye West, Theivery Corporation, Nickel Creek, Ryan Adams, Death Cab for Cutie, and the Flaming Lips!
Tickets for this years show are on sale now for only $130 which is a great deal. Not as great as the $45 I paid about a month ago for mine, but still.
If you're a fan of music, and don't mind standing outside in August in Chicago, do yourself a favor and pick up some tickets for this year's show.
Ruminations and Predictions of the 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament as told by a Self-Declared Bandwagon Sports Fan
It's that time of year when all water-cooler conversations revolve around the question, "What's your bracket look like?" I've always been a bandwagon sports fan...when the playoffs of any sport (except hockey) come around, I keep SportsCenter on so I can somewhat talk intelligently (actually just less retardedly) about the respective teams playing. The same holds true for "March Madness" or any other type of madness, frankly.
So here are a few ruminations, and a few predictions as to the outcome of the best college sports has to offer.
-First: Why the hell is Tennessee a 2 seed? So they beat Texas when they were down...nice win, and they beat Florida (who's been streaky all year) and Kentucky (but who hasn't beaten Kentucky?) They are definitely better than expected, and deserving of a higher seed in the tourney, but a 2? not a chance. Prediction: Wichita State will knock them out in the Second Round
-I was originally upset about Illinois being a 4 seed, thinking that their relatively consistent top 10 presence this year earned them at least a 3 seed. Though the Illini were better than projected, and had a pretty good year in the unpredictable Big Ten, if I wouldn't have gone there, I wouldn't have second guessed their seed a bit. So I'm thinking objectively on this one and I'm satisfied. Prediction: Unfortunately, this lower seeding is forcing them to play UConn in the Sweet 16, and they won't make it past the Huskies
-As much as I love to hate Duke, and especially JJ Reddick, he's a stud, and they are the team to beat this year. Prediction: This year's senior class will finally get their national title.
-Some say Gonzaga got screwed on their 3 seed, and I can come up with reasons for both. They probably should have been flip flopped with UCLA for a 2 seed. Regardless, they'll still reach the final four and play Duke. Prediction: The Final Four matchup between Duke & Gonzaga (and more importantly JJ Reddick & Adam Morrison) will give Dick Vitale the first erection he's experienced in 15 years.
-The best part of the NCAA tourney by far is the upsets. Here's who I see making a stink this year:
First Round: Texas A&M over Syracuse; NC State over California; Bucknell over Arkansas; UW-Milwaukee over Oklahoma; Wisconsin over Arizona; UAB over Kentucky; and Utah State over Washington.
Second Round: West Virginia over Iowa; Texas A&M over LSU; Wichita State over Tennessee
Sweet 16: Memphis will be the first 1 seed to lose after Kansas knocks them off in the third round.
If you're planning on calling your bookey after reading this, I wouldn't go that far...I traditionally finish somewhere in the middle of every pool I've ever entered (especially the one's for money) usually getting beat out by the woman who picks her teams based on the teams' mascots and uniforms.
Childhood imagination manifested in adult bodies (AKA: The best day of my Life)
Many of the faithful readers of Philthy Laundry were around to witness, what I can only describe as one of the best days of my life. For those of you not privileged enough to be present at this event...let me give you a little background information.
While I was in college, I had a 1989 Chevy Cavalier that was not in the best shape. (Keep in mind I was in college from 1999-2003, so this was not a new vehicle) It usually got me to point B from point A with little complications. I say usually, because there was a point in the life of this wonderful vehicle where it would just putter out and die several times while driving down the busiest roads of Champaign, IL. I can't imagine what caused this damage to this vehicle...first of all it was American made...so you know the quality was top notch. It could have been running up on curbs around the U of I campus to scare pedestrians on the sidewalks, or running into dumpsters for comedic value, but I doubt it.
Come the end of my senior year, the problems with the car were getting exponentially worse, and I had determined that even if this car could make it the two hours back to my parents home after graduation, it certainly wouldn't suit me well to take it to my new career in Chicago. So after careful deliberation, I determined that the only thing to do was fulfill my childhood dream of owning a convertible. "Oh so you went out and bought a new convertible for yourself for graduation," you're probably asking yourself. Not even close. Since my income was limited, (read: I made enough money in college to buy food, beer, and not much else. And one only has so much plasma to donate for $20 a pop) the only thing to do was to turn the Cavalier that had given me so much enjoyment the past 3 years into a convertible by cutting the top off with a giant saw. I phoned my father to let him know of my plans, and since it was technically his car, to ask permission. It was his enthusiastic affirmative response that permanently catapulted him into "Greatest Dad Ever" status. It was, to my knowledge, one of the only literally "converted" convertibles in the US. I gathered a group of gentlemen from my fraternity, along with the local campus newspaper for the transformation which is what you will witness here:
This car served me well for my last 4 days on campus, from going to the movies to bars, until it finally died in the parking lot of the freshman dorms while trying to offer my help to the kiddies and their parents who were moving out of the dorms.
The day after graduation I sold this car to a junkyard for $15.
Every once in a while, the opportunity will come along to rub elbows with greatness. Friday night such an opportunity sprung forth in front of me when Mr. & Mrs. Oneway came into the city from the distant and forgotten land known as the "Western Suburbs" for an evening of fun with yours truly. Knowing that an opportunity like this doesn't come along everyday, I knew I had to plan something socially stimulating, if I ever hoped for a repeat visit. Thoughts raced through my head...
"Maybe a helicopter ride around the city. No, way too loud. Scuba Diving in Lake Michigan. No, it's 30 degrees out, and that's disgusting."
Then I came up with a great idea. Since Oneway is both an appreciator of the arts, and history, I decided that taking them to The Green Mill (a local jazz bar once frequented by mobster Al Capone) was just the answer. We arrived to the bouncer telling us it's a $12 cover, and while the band was playing, there could be NO talking. The band was playing from 10-2. So since we didn't want to pay $12 each to sit in silence, we decided to go next door to a bar called Crew. Mrs. Oneway didn't have her license with her, so we were weary of whether she could get in. Luckily while explaining the situation to the skinny man sitting by the door, he interrupted her by saying "What's your name." She told him, and he shrieked "Oh my God! We went to high school together. I totally know you!" Immediately followed by "Wait, why are you here?" She explained that we were originally going next door, yada yada yada. To which he replied, "Yeah but why are you here? This is a gay bar."
The words were echoing through my mind "Gay Bar. Gay Bar. Gay Bar" Of course on one of the only occasions my friends come to visit, I inadvertently end up taking them to a gay bar.
Since we had already traveled up there, and they had open tables (in what looked like to be the hetero section, as there were male/female couples in this general region) and they had beer and sports on the TVs...we stayed.
(As a little side note here, I have become less and less homophobic since moving to Chicago. I've actually grown to appreciate the benefits of living near gay neighborhoods. They bring a lot of culture to an area, in terms of art, food, and some aspects of entertainment. The neighborhoods are always safe, and clean. The only price you have to pay is once a year during the Gay Pride Parade, you endure a day of public displays of homosexuality that can best be summarized in the words of my mother: "I understand that they're gay and proud, but I don't get why they have to dress as shirtless cowboys" Nuff said.)
So we spent the night surrounded by males lovingly caressing each other, and being served beer by other men in tight, sleeveless t-shirts and scarves around their necks (afterall, it was winter.) The bathrooms featured pictures of Greg Louganis and Billie Jean King, apparently the two gay sports icons.
Much to my surprise, we had a good time, albeit an interesting and educational night, it was still entertaining. Of course the only way to conclude a night like that is by indulging in the creamy minty goodness that is the McDonald's Sharmrock Shake. It's like happy in a partially recycled paper cup.
Take some Punk, add a little Pop, and a dash of Emo, and you have Smoking Popes. This local Chicago band had their glory days in the 90s, and have just recently reunited and started touring again. I had the opportunity to see Smoking Popes when I was in Austin last week...and they rocked AND rolled. Their latest live disc recorded at the Metro last November was just released Feb 28th.
