Table for One
One of the weird parts about traveling alone is that I eat a majority of my meals in restaurants by myself. I'm a people person, so I admit that in the beginning this was strange for me, but I got used to it pretty quickly. Apparently the restaurant industry is not as used to it as I am, because at least 3 times a week the following sequence happens. I walk up to the hostess and she is perky and smiley when she says "Welcome to (insert crappy chain restaurant name here) How many?
And I say, "Just One."
She inevitably gets this sad look in her eyes like she's just seen a squirrel get run over by a Hummer, and quickly concentrates on the wipey-board thing where all the tables are laid out. I can almost hear the thoughts bouncing off the walls of her tiny skull "Table for one! What do I do? All of our tables have at least two chairs...do I make him sit on the floor? Maybe I should sit him in the corner where he won't be seen by everyone else trying to enjoy their meal."
Eventually she takes me to a table.
I peruse the menu wondering which deep fried, cheese covered, meat product I'll partake of this evening. Then the waitress comes.
"Just you tonight?" said with the same pathetic, dead squirrel look.
I respond, "Yes." And her reaction is always the same:
"Oh...well that's ok!" (She has to fight the urge to finish the sentence with "...you poor thing") "How 'bout I bring you something to drink?" Like the only thing that can fill the gaping hole in my soul is a Cherry Coke.
The rest of the meal is usually relatively normal. I either get extra attention from the waitress so she can feel good about postponing my impending suicide one more day, or they're so afraid of the situation that contact is minimal. There are always some looks from other patrons in the restaurant, looks that scream "I wonder why he's alone?" and "If I were him I'd just go through the Wendy's Drive-Thru and cry myself to sleep."
And this is the life I lead, day in and day out.
I think I'm going to go get a Cherry Coke.
posted by philthy @ 1:24 PM
1 Comments:
wow, yeah, that's me, too.
that's why I take a book everywhere I go. that way I'm left alone. and if you're looking at the page, you can't see the pitying looks of the people around you.
i think i'll have a rootbeer and join you in that drink. ugh.
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