Airing my Philthy Laundry

Philthy VS Canada Round 3

About a month ago, I made my third trip to Canada to visit our Northerly neighbors in the last 6 months. Subsequently, my passport has asked to be reassigned to someone who'll take it to more exciting places than Winnipeg. (I'm just kidding, passports can't talk)

Anyway, I believe I was victorious in my first two rounds VS Canada, but the jury's still out on this latest trip, as Canada fought back with a vengeance. Let me walk you through this.

First: I leave Chicago on a beautiful late April day, only to be crammed into the smallest plane since the Wright brothers' conception and to land in Winnipeg where it's at least 30 degrees cooler. Approximately 20 minutes into my drive to Brandon, MB, it started snowing; something my t-shirt and flip flops were not prepared for. Result: 1 point Canada

Second: I negotiated a rate on my rental car to get a Chrysler 300c, prepared to rip Canada a new one with a Hemi engine. Result: 1 point Philthy.

Third: Craving something Asian, I decided to get some Indian food for dinner. This ultimately led to the entire wing of my hotel having to vacate while my body attempted to digest this. (Life Lesson: Don't order Indian food from a place with a drive through) Result: Tie. I was in pain, but so was everyone else.

Fourth: I successfully lasted 2 more weeks without contracting bird flu. Result: 1 point Philthy

Fifth: On a weekend jaunt back to Winnipeg, the Canadian weather attacked me again. A relatively calm day suddenly turned into an intense hailstorm, causing me to fishtail said rental car out of control only to end up stuck in the ditch along the interstate. If you've ever thought of getting into car accidents in Canada, I would definitely reconsider. On the bright side though, several people graciously stopped and offered to help me out, including a nun in full get-up. If you haven't seen a nun run across a ditch in the rain, you haven't lived life. Result: 2 points Canada. One for stranding me in the hail/rain for a better part of the evening, and one for yet another life lesson (Canadians are nicer than I give them credit for)

So with a score of 4 to 3, Canada takes Round 3. But I'm still ahead 2 rounds to 1. Will Canada get another opportunity to even the score? I hope not.

posted by philthy @ 4:52 PM