Airing my Philthy Laundry

The Winter of my Discontent

There are a lot of things I hate about winter, the cold weather being the top on the list. With cold weather, comes snow...which causes it's own problems; horrible road conditions and slippery sidewalks conducive to injury and public embarrassment are the first ones to come to mind. But today I experienced perhaps one of the most overlooked, yet one of the most vile backlashes of snowfall...excess doggie poo.

Now I know you're asking yourself, "Phil, dogs have to poo all the time, why would there be excess in the winter?" Well I'm glad you asked...let me walk you through it.

Basically when there's a lot of snowfall, dogs do their business the only way they know how. But when their delightful little steamers fall, they melt right through the freshly fallen snow. The dog owner, already shivering from standing in the cold while Fido found just the right spot, really isn't in the mood to be fishing through the white piles to retrieve the deposit. So they just leave it and go back inside. The poo just sits there, freezing and preserving it as the wintry temperatures keep it deathly cold outside. Then a warm front moves in sending the temperatures into the 50s. It melts the snow and sends the people out of their homes. That's when it hits you, you're running to your car, excited to take full advantage of the warm weather, when suddenly you step into 3 week old, yet freshly thawed and still preserved doggie doo. You can't help but scream it's name, Sh**!

Thus begins the winter of my discontent.

posted by philthy @ 2:50 PM