Who knew Pizza Hut was so disturbed?
Today at a Southern Illinois Pizza Hut I was engrossed in one of their wildly entertaining placemats. The one in front of me was posing hypothetical questions that you could discuss with others at the table to help distract from the fact that you're about to eat some of the worst pizza in the world. Since I was alone, I pondered them quietly to myself.Question 1: If you could be President for one day, what would you do? This one was easy to answer...First I'd prank call Kim Jong-Il. Then I'd get rid of "President's Day" and return to the glory that was "Lincoln's Birthday" AND "Washington's Birthday."
Question 2: If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Another easy one. I would wear a new pair of socks every day for the rest of my life, because we all know that nothing is better than a new pair of socks. I'd also buy an unlimited supply of gummy bears.
Question 3: What if you had to fit a giraffe into a refrigerator, how would you do it?
Personally, I think this question is kind of messed up, but if I've learned anything in my life, it's that when Pizza Hut asks you a question, you answer it, gosh darn it! So naturally the only logical answer to this question is to shoot the giraffe with a tranquilizer dart and wait until it falls asleep. Then you would need to take a saw and cut the giraffe up into smaller pieces. Then you stack up the pieces and put them in the refrigerator. Consider that question answered.
Sweet Dreams!
posted by philthy @ 8:33 PM
3 Comments:
Your "giraffe" answer is hardly complete.
Now, I may be way off here, but the shear mass of a giraffe could never fit into a refridgerator. Even if you put the giraffe in a giant blender, and poured the giraffe into a refridgerator lying on it's back, then stood the fridge upright, you wouldn't be able to fit the giraffe in the refridgerator.
You see, the problem with fitting any carbon-based lifeform into something small is that we are composed of too much water. The simple solution is this: Giraffe jerkey.
If you dehydrate that frickin' giraffe into jerkey strips, you could definitely fit that sucka into a fridge.
Giraffe jerkey... I bet that's pretty frickin' good.
touche'
Now I think you guys are looking at this the whole wrong way. Pizza hut is trying to get you thinking out of the box. There is no good reason to put a giraffe into a refrigerator, but there are, however, many good reasons to turn a giraffe into a refrigerator. You will need 6 gallons of freon, a garden hose, a generator, and two clamps and all your problems are solved.
---Mike----
Post a Comment
<< Home