Airing my Philthy Laundry

Dirty Old Man

Today I was in a sales call in Elyria, OH at a camera shop owned by a man well into his 80s. The sales rep, Bev, (who was a woman in her 50s) and I walked in and I see this man sitting on a stool behind a counter. He looked innocent enough, but Bev's voice was echoing in my head. "Howard...well he's quite a character, just to warn you."
The first words out of his mouth were "Hey there, pull my ponytail." Immediately Bev said, "Don't do it." Howard responded, "Awwww, you never let me have any fun." and then proceeded to fart.
So I go through my little sales schpeel, and he decides to buy an ad. When we were deciding on a day of the week, I suggested Thursday, since it was a very popular TV watching night. Howard responded "I never watch TV on Thursday, of course I'm usually too busy having sex." And then he starts giggling like a 10 year old. Somehow the conversation alluded to height, and Bev mentioned that her youngest daughter was 6'1''. Howard says "I'm 7-1." I look at him, confused, and he's pointing to his crotch, again giggling. After trying to sell me a pair of binoculars (good for looking through windows) and a $50 Nativity set (although I have no clue why a Jewish man had a Nativity set in his camera shop) we decided it was time to go. As we were leaving, two teenagers walked in. Howard greeted them and when they said they were just looking around he said "What you come in here to just look around? I'm an old man, I don't have time to look around! Buy something already!"
When I'm 80 I hope I'm half the dirty old man that he is.

posted by philthy @ 5:05 PM