Airing my Philthy Laundry

Greetings from the 49th state!

So I'm in Juneau, Alaska, a land without air conditioning and high speed internet in the hotels. I don't need the air conditioning, since it's been above 65 only once in the last week, but my patience isn't refined enough to deal with dial-up again. But I am persevering for you, the faithful readers of Philthy Laundry.
I'll start out with day one in Alaska. After 8 hours of travel, I finally land. I'm already irritable and jet lagged, so when I stood there staring at the luggage carousel to no avail, I was a bit upset. So I stand in line with the other disgruntled passengers to find out where my belongings are. Here's an exaggerated snippet of the dialogue that took place.

Alaska Airlines Representative: Hi sir, how can I help you?

Me: My luggage isn't here (I hand her my bag claim ticket)

Alaska Airlines Representative: Oh Sorry to here that, let's see...(she fumbles through lists upon lists on the counter) Yes, here it is. Your bag decided to take a different flight.

Me: Damn bag! I've told him a thousand times to stop switching flights on me. Let me guess, he got drunk at the airport bar again and missed the flight.

Alaska Airlines Representative: Um...I don't...I mean...

Me: Nevermind, this is a conversation I should be having with my bag, can you make sure he gets to my hotel ok?

Alaska Airlines Representative: Yes sir, I'll do that.

So the final stop on my airport trifecta from hell is the Budget Rent-a-car counter. Now normally this is a relatively simple process, sign here, initial there, here's the keys. But of course I get the chatty employee. On and on and on she drones about things I have since blocked out. All I know is that i was exhausted and staring at her blankly until there was a long enough break in this one-sided conversation for me to say..."Ok thanks, gotta go!" and rush out of the airport. I step out to my rental car, and immediately start to cry...why you ask? Because it's a Kia. A 2005 Kia Optima, decked out with power nothing, a seat that went back about 60% of what I needed it to, and tilt steering that is marginally noticeable at best. I felt like I was driving a clown car.

The rest of the week was relatively uneventful, which for me, means it was good. I soaked up the rain and gray clouds that Southeast Alaska had to offer, and tried to function in a place that has 20 hours of daylight this time of year. By now I've adjusted.

Today, I had another one-sided conversation with some old woman in a diner...let's call her Agnus, because that's one of the oldest names I can think of. Agnus sits down at a table next to mine, by herself as well. Immediately starts talking to me; at first I make conversation, thinking she will grow weary of me shortly. But that only encouraged her. I learned about how she fell down in February and was "laid up" for 4 months. How she comes into this diner weekly to get a hot turkey sandwich. How she got married late in life and didn't have any children, and more importantly, and I quote "Everyone in Alaska is having kids. Them kids are everywhere. Damn Catholics and Mormons! Just don't know when to quit." Eventually her food came and she grew weary of my "uh-huhs" and "yeps." She left me to my cheeseburger.

That's Alaska so far...I'll be sure to let everyone know of any updates, should there be any.

posted by philthy @ 5:05 PM