What would you do?
So here's a new segment I'd like to start. Whenever I see a situation that makes me ask myself "Philthy, what would you do?" I will dodge responsibility and put it on the people of the world wide web.So here's the situation:
You're the owner of a mid-range mexican restaurant in a college town of approx 50,000 people. Your restaurant is known as having some of the better mexican food in town.
So one of your patrons (a middle aged woman) knocks her margarita over accidentally after taking only 1 drink.
Do you bring her a new margarita free of charge, or do you not?
More info to help you on your decision:
-your restaurant is in an area of town with a lot of hotels, it's the main restaurant within walking distance of these hotels
-the woman has a New England Accent.
-It's a Sunday night
-the woman is not drunk
-the glass broke when she knocked it over
-it's about 37 degrees out with a westerly wind about 15 mph
-the town is in the midwest
So there you go, folks. What would you do?
(there is a right answer and I will post it in a few days. the person who is closest will win a prize from philthy himself. prize will either be an extra hug next time i see you, or an opportunity to decline a hug next time i see you, whichever you prefer)
posted by philthy @ 8:18 PM
8 Comments:
Answer: no
Reason: There is no room for grace in the situation. I say not only should the person not get another margarita for free, but I would actually ask the woman to leave the restaurant and never come back. If she didn't, I'd call the police. Why?
Think about it. A sober woman spills a margarita, leading to shards of broken glass being sprinkled everywhere. How convenient for a woman with a "New England" accent in a midwestern town. What's really going on is this woman had an affair with one of the waiters named Jose five years ago while getting her Master's from the University of Illinois. She's gone on to get married and launch a successful career out east, but Jose has come snooping wanting part of her success. He's blackmailed her, saying that he'll tell her husband if she doesn't pay him $5000, and she can't handle it. So she comes to the restaurant for revenge -- Jose doesn't know she's there -- and she chooses broken glass as her weapon of choice. If you don't get her out of the restaurant, there will be death soon. Very soon.
Thank you very much. Encyclopedia Brown signing off.
Who do you think you are with these wild accusations! Don't let me catch you alone. Sally can't save you.
--Bugs Meaney
Great reference, oneway.
In my opinion, Bugs Meaney is one of the greatest literary characters of the 20th century.
He is a embittered youth, longing for satisfaction in the crimes he comits. His conflict with Encyclopedia and Sally is a window into the inner turmoil of his soul. Encyclopedia is too shallow -- to caught up in always trying to figure things out -- to see Bugs' heart. Alas.
Oh come on, everyone knows that in the midwest on a chilly sunday night with a westerly wind, it's New England Ladies night, which means all their margaritas are on the house anyway. The glasses aren't though, but I really don't want to be a complete bitch, I'll take away the free tortilla chips and slasa instead making her pay for it. Fair is fair.
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Answer: Death
There is no way around this situation: this woman must die. I know it sounds insensitive and all that jazz, but this woman is just a menace to society and must cease to exist. She's ruining people's lives. She's not even Mexican! I'm sorry, but it's true.
Hey, do you guys remember that time when we actually sat around and watched a bunch of eposides of Encyclodpedia Brown?! That was amazing! Thank you Matt Ahrens for making me happy!
Encyclopedia Brown is fun
thank you all for participating. Bensheets had the right answer. In fact this woman is a terrorist, she was out to kill her former lover Jose, but not before he gave her top secret information on the new biosphere in the Gulf of Mexico. Luckily, her plan was foiled and America is safe, once again.
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