Creepy Poems
Today I was listening to the radio on the way to work, and the light-hearted disc jockeys were talking about when guys write creepy poems to girls. Most of the poems that the women of Chicagoland have received were a delicate blend of hilarity and creepiness. This inspired me to write a few poems to some people that have come in and out of my life lately. Enjoy!"Ode to the guy that cut my hair last week"
A special poem for Elliott at the Hair Cuttery
When you handled my scalp, your hands felt so soft and buttery.
I hope you weren't startled, when I looked at you with fright,
I've never seen a man with orange crimped hair, oh, what a sight!
"Ode to the girl that worked the checkout at the grocery store"
Ode to the girl, who works at the Jewel
One of your eyes is lazy, the other is super cool
You handled my produce, with such ease and such care
I almost didn't notice, you were losing your hair
"Ode to the guy who walks his dog by my apartment"
To the mystery man, that has a mystery dog
Thanks for letting your canine, pinch a fresh brown log
He did it near my car, oh what a horrid sight
Now I'm scraping poo off my shoe, all day and all night.
"Ode to the cashier at Taco Bell"
Your name was Juanita, it was tattooed on your wrist
Thanks so much for offering, an order of cinnamon twists.
My food was extra spicy, it filled me with emotion
If it were up to me, I'd give you a promotion.
Thanks for reading...I'm so glad the world wide web has allowed me to be so open and honest with my feelings.
Seacrest out.
posted by philthy @ 1:13 PM
3 Comments:
Astounding lyrical quality, reminds of a young Maya Angelou. Is she your main inspiration, or is the David Allan Grier inpersonation do enough for you?
i think my inspiration lies in a few sources. Of course Ms Angelou (or Maya as I call her) is a deep inspiration in my writing. But also the disturbed mind of Edgar Allan Poe, and the genius of Tina Fey (writer of the smash hit "Mean Girls" and the hilarity every week on SNL)
And you know that I've always drawn deep inspiration from the words of Chingy, one of the greatest hip hop artists of our, or any other era.
I'm right Thurr, Chingy, I'm right Thurr!
Shablizz out
The one about the mystery dog was sheer genius. and i was unaware that chingy had such an impact.
AUBS
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